Tag Archives: the eagles

This one goes out to: the Grammy nomination panel

4 Dec

grammy-pic

Really? Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida” for Song of the Year? Five musicians who I’ve never heard a single song from for Best New Artist? Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance? Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long” for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance? The Eagles of Wal-Mart for anything? The list goes on and on…

While there are some respectable names on the list (M.I.A., Radiohead, Daft Punk, Hot Chip, Kings of Leon, Beck, My Morning Jacket), it’s obvious that someone needs to reboot the whole damn institution. Maybe I’m being too harsh though. At least it appears (as of today) that they’ve actually selected artists who sing their own songs.

What planet do these tone deaf blowhards come from where Jethro Tull is considered metal? This one goes out to you, Grammy nomination panel…courtesy of a fellow extra-terrestrial, Dr. Octagon…

Speculating about tomorrow’s “big” Bonnaroo announcement

16 Apr

This summer, I will be making my first pilgrimmage to Bonnaroo. How will I fare in this land before shirts? God only knows. But it’s only 55 days away, and my eagerness is beginning to bubble.

In case you’re curious about my musical tastes, here are the Bonnaroo bands on my to-see list (in the order that my eyes pick them off the playbill): Pearl Jam, My Morning Jacket, The Raconteurs, Death Cab for Cutie, Ben Folds, Cat Power, Iron and Wine, Broken Social Scene, Rilo Kiley, Drive-By Truckers, Minus the Bear and Vampire Weekend.

I’ve received an e-mail from the Bonnaroo hype bots informing me of BIG Bonnaroo announcement tomorrow. So my agenda for the weekend could be expanding? Or perhaps contracting? All anyone can do it this point is speculate, so let’s go nuts.

Borrowing a page from Deadspin, I’ve handicapped several possibilities:

300 to 1: Kanye West will announce that, like President Bush, he hates black people, which is why he’s playing at a music festival where there will be more crackers than a Nabisco packing plant.

100 to 1: Metallica has been scratched from the Bonnaroo lineup because drummer Lars Ulrich has been sentenced to 90 days in jail for illegally acquiring copyrighted music.

65 to 1: The Second Coming of Christ will be a part of this year’s Bonnaroo festivities. Our Lord and Savior will get 30 minutes on That Stage between performances from Back Door Slam and The Afromotive on Sunday afternoon.

40 to 1: Oasis will be added to the lineup, only to be retracted a month later when Noel Gallagher realizes that Bonnaroo isn’t in Manchester, England. “What the fook is Tennessee?”

25 to 1: Festival officials have filled the last hole in the attractions area with an adult film tent, dubbed “Boneroo.” 

10 to 1: The Eagles will replace Jack Johnson as one of the event’s headliners. But only people who buy their Bonnaroo tickets at Wal-Mart will be able to watch the band’s set.

Even: Widespread Panic will play Bonnaroo yet again. Cue a transgenerational hippie slow clap.