Really? Coldplay’s “Viva La Vida” for Song of the Year? Five musicians who I’ve never heard a single song from for Best New Artist? Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl” for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance? Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long” for Best Male Pop Vocal Performance? The Eagles of Wal-Mart for anything? The list goes on and on…

While there are some respectable names on the list (M.I.A., Radiohead, Daft Punk, Hot Chip, Kings of Leon, Beck, My Morning Jacket), it’s obvious that someone needs to reboot the whole damn institution. Maybe I’m being too harsh though. At least it appears (as of today) that they’ve actually selected artists who sing their own songs.

What planet do these tone deaf blowhards come from where Jethro Tull is considered metal? This one goes out to you, Grammy nomination panel…courtesy of a fellow extra-terrestrial, Dr. Octagon…

This recurring segment is the product of me wasting hours upon hours scouring Amie Street for good music from bands I’ve never heard of. This week’s inaugural selection is Jotto’s eponymous EP, which you can purchase for $2.60 by clicking here. 

What do I know about Jotto? I know they’re from Philly, like another one of my favorite bands. I know they have yet to release a full length album. You know what else I know, I can’t wait until they do.

If you’re inclined to buy the Jotto EP, I can tell you that you’re getting a nice six pack. Although they echo already entrenched indie bands, mainly The Strokes and The National, there’s something a little off about these guys. Just listen to “The Girl Who’s Seen Too Much (In II Acts)”. The mush-mouthed vocals contrast the conventional piano progression. The result is a bizarrely memorable song.

“Backyard Circus” is the best song on the EP, and it’s a brilliant piece of work. The dirty ditty manages to stay exciting from the opening keys to the closing horns. The opening track “Young in the City” is also terrific. Although the drumming is distinctive, it’s the lyrics that won me over – they really capture the cocktail of uncertainty and optimism shared by many 20-somethings. Here’s the video:

One thing that concerns me is that Jotto’s second EP released earlier this year isn’t nearly as strong. Maybe that’s why it’s cheaper. You can download Good Friend Electric for free on the band’s website.

Bravo to everyone involved. Charlie Weis is coming back for another season – good news for people who love bad news. Have fun watching Pudgy McCockmunch waddle along the sidelines with his stupid Drew Carey haircut for another 12 games next year.

It would be one thing to be patient with the guy if he wasn’t a total a-hole. When people are writing stories like this about your coach, it’s time to let bygones be bye, gones. Another year of Weis is only going to further soil Notre Dame’s once sterling reputation as a college football power.

Dynasty be damned. This one goes out to you, Notre Dame football…courtesy of Modest Mouse…

Have you seen these new Whopper Virgins commercials? I normally love BK ads. They feature an unusual amount of self-awareness and a warped sense of humor. They named one of their breakfast sandwiches the Meatnormous. Do I need to explain myself further?

Here’s the thing though. They’re pimping this serious (at least as far as I can tell) documentary about bringing burgers to villages where the natives don’t even have a word for the food. Here’s the web page, which must have borrowed its name from a fat fetish site.  

While I applaud them thinking outside the lines of the traditional taste test, how can they contend that this is an unbiased poll of which burger is better? These people have probably eaten tree bark and insects their whole lives. I doubt their palettes are very developed. Also, they’re probably starving. So they’re naturally going to prefer the larger of the two burgers. It’s like running the test with dogs. They don’t care what tastes better; they’re just happy to have some human food. 

It seems that Burger King has set up a poll that the Whopper can’t lose. Clever marketing ploy, no doubt. But don’t get a Whopper because Sagat and his friends from Thailand dig it. Buy one because it’s way better than a Big Mac. Take it from me, a real connoisseur.

Just don’t ask for my opinion on bamboo.

Sorry for being truant this week. I’ve been trying to kick some ass at work so that I can have a three-day weekend to enjoy my trip to Louisville to see My Morning Jacket. Mission accomplished. Back to blogging.

Earlier this week, the Onion AV Club posted a great list of instrumental songs. Here’s the link. In case you don’t feel like reading their explanation, staffers selected the top 29 songs by artists who typically don’t produce tracks without lyrics (yet somehow Pink Floyd made it on the list).

I really enjoyed their rundown, so much so that it inspired me to compile my own list of instrumentals. I didn’t stick to their criteria – this is simply a list of my favorite wordless tunes, regardless of artist. However, I did make a point not to include any songs from the AV Club list. You know, just to keep things fresh.

10. “New Orleans Instrumental No. 1″ – R.E.M.

9. “Speed of Life” – David Bowie

8. “Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots Pt. 2″ – The Flaming Lips

7. “Flying” – The Beatles

6. “Pow” – Beastie Boys

5. “Fuckin’ in the Bushes” – Oasis

4. “Meeting in the Aisle” – Radiohead

3. “One of These Days” – Pink Floyd

2. “Ocean” – John Butler Trio

1. “Maggot Brain” – Funkadelic

I think the list of songs named after deserts would be much shorter. And less delicious. Fork and spoon drumroll please…

5. “Savoy Truffle” – The Beatles

Been on a White Album kick lately. This is a goofy Harrison song (a la Piggies), but it’s worth a listen occasionally.

4. “Sex and Candy” – Marcy Playground

Is it OK to like this song? Disco lemonade is so refreshing.

3. “Peaches and Cream” – John Butler Trio

Although this song doesn’t necessarily showcase it, John Butler is one of the best guitarists I’ve ever seen. This is a poignant song, made slightly less poignant by the revelation that Butler named his daugher Banjo.

2. “Custard Pie” – Led Zeppelin

As this rocking tune makes abundantly clear, Robert Plant loved pastries. Especially underage pastries.

1. “Magic Pie” – Oasis

Only on trivial lists like this should you find Oasis ranked ahead of The Beatles and Led Zeppelin. But I gotta admit, Be Here Now is incredibly underrated, and “Magic Pie” is one of the best songs on the disc. 

In case you were wondering, I really, really enjoy The Hold Steady. And the biggest reason why is Craig Finn’s lyrics. Critics love to dub him a poet, but I prefer to think of him as a novelist with excellent pacing. 

Because Finn is a hell of a storyteller, I found it rather difficult to quantify his best lines. Often times, the words lose their impact without the context of the entire song. I did my best here to pick out lyrics that stand alone as profound statements or insightful observations.  

Here’s my top 10:

10. “Half the crowd is calling our for ‘Born to Run’ and the other half is calling out for ‘Born To Lose’ / Baby we were born to choose / We got the last-call-bar-band-really-big-decision blues” – Barfly Blues

Yes, The Hold Steady sound like a bar band. No objections here. Here’s an analogy for you – Hootie and the Blowfish is to high school dropouts as The Hold Steady is to private college graduates.

9. “She’s sick of the questions, sick of the concept of justice and fairness / Who the hell cares who gets caught in the middle? / She smokes as she ponders this riddle: When one townie falls in the forest, can anyone hear it?” – One For The Cutters

Best lyric from the new album Stay Positive. It’s much more powerful as the conclusion of the story than an individual lyric. But I think it still belongs on the list.

8. “She crashed into the Easter mass with her hair done up in broken glass / She was limping left on broken heels when she said “Father, can I tell your congregation how a resurrection really feels?”” – How A Resurrection Really Feels

I just can’t get over the “hair done up in broken glass” part. What a visual.

7. “Silly rabbit, tripping is for teenagers / Murder is for murderers / And hard drugs are for bartenders” - Cattle and Creeping Things

Trix references are fine by me. So is calling out bartenders for getting blasted. 

6. “Lost in fog and love and faith was fear / I’ve had kisses that make Judas seem sincere” - Citrus

Finn definitely has a Catholic fetish that he sometimes beats into the ground. But I can relate to the sentiment. Been there, done that. That’s why The Hold Steady speaks to me. 

5. “I really like the crowds at the really big shows / People touching people that they don’t even know” - Hornets! Hornets!

Seriously, this is why I go to so many concerts (besides the music). It’s such a trip. You’ll sing and dance with total strangers, then the lights come on and everyone parts ways. Most of the time you never see the people from concerts again, but they stick around in the memories. It’s so beautiful and bizarre. 

4. “Holly wore a string around her finger / There are strings attached to every single lover / But still they can’t even tether us together” – Banging Camp

Here he combines a common practice with a common expression to create something entirely new. The world would be a better place if other songwriters approached the level of Finn’s talent.

3. “You came into the ER drinking gin from a jam jar / And the nurse is making jokes about the ER being like an after bar” – Stevie Nix

I don’t know if this actually happened to Finn or not, but this is an amazing anecdote. 

2. “Don’t even speak to all those sequin-surfed beach boys / When they kiss they spit white noise” – First Night

I don’t really think I need to quantify why this is a great line. However, I feel the need to give Finn props for putting Hollister d-bags in their place.

1. “Your don’t have to go to the right kind of schools / Let your boyfriend come from the right kind of school / You can wear his old sweatshirt / You can cover yourself like a bruise” – You Can Make Him Like You

What a devastating lyric. It’s so real and honest. Cuts through the bullshit like a Ginsu.

Amidst all the concerts, there is still time for lists…

5. “Pink Triangle” – Weezer

4. “Turn A Square” – The Shins

3. “Spin The Black Circle” – Pearl Jam

2. “Perfect Circle” – R.E.M.

1. “Pyramid Song” – Radiohead

What a get for Indy. Radiohead and Wilco on back-to-back nights. Our proud city was the unofficial site of Lollapalooza Jr. this year.

While I waited in line for a beer during the one song during Wilco’s set that didn’t really do anything for me (“Remember The Mountain Bed”), the guy in front of me pitched his Coors Light can into a trash receptacle positioned a few feet away, eschewing the recycling bin sitting adjacent. Normally, I wouldn’t have even noticed since I’m no Greezo or anything. But this guy (a hipster to the core) was wearing a vintage shirt with a cartoon bear and the edict “RECYCLE” printed on it. Of course, the person in front of him called him out for the hypocritical act, and the trendy bastard reached into the trash and righted his wrong.

Why am I sharing this anecdote? Well, first of all, it was hilarious to watch it unfold. But more importantly, it made me think about Wilco. Unlike the fashionable fool in line, Wilco never tries to be something they’re not. Critics (including yours truly) complained about Sky Blue Sky reversing the direction and momentum built up by Yankee Hotel Foxtrot and A Ghost Is Born. But it’s important to remember that the boys from Wilco are as much an alt-country outfit as they are an indie rock band.

This was particularly evident during Monday night’s show, as the setlist was heavy on songs from Being There and even included “Casino Queen” from A.M. Wilco does whatever they want, and they do it quite well.

I’m reminded of the beautifully tacky Nudie suits that the band wore for their Lollapalooza performance. I don’t know many bands that could pull off that look. But it fits Wilco. They’re one of the most fun and eccentric groups I’ve ever seen.

My friends and I had a lengthy conversation trying to figure out what the song “Impossible Germany” is about. Does it matter? Not really, the lyrics are memorable and it just rocks live.

So did all of the other songs they played from Sky Blue Sky, which was quite a relief. I saw Wilco during the A Ghost Is Born tour and they melted my face with renditions of “At Least That’s What You Said” and “Spiders (Kidsmoke)”. But quite honestly, this show was even better. “Via Chicago” was probably the best opener I’ve heard from any band at any show this year. ”Pot Kettle Black” and “Forget The Flowers” were sweet mid-set surprises. “Hoodoo Voodoo” was equal parts insane and awe-inspiring. And the all-Being There second encore featuring a horn section served as a giant exclamation point. As in, I will never miss another Wilco concert ever again!*

* Keep in mind, I hate exclamation points. But the show was that tremendous.  

SETLIST

Via Chicago
Side With The Seeds
You Are My Face
One Wing
I Am Trying To Break Your Heart
Remember The Mountain Bed
Company In My Back
Handshake Drugs
Pot Kettle Black
Impossible Germany
Forget The Flowers
Jesus, Etc.
New Song (Kids Are Still Cool?)
Walken
I’m The Man Who Loves You
Spiders (Kidsmoke)
—
Hate It Here
Heavy Metal Drummer
Shot In The Arm
Casino Queen
Hoodoo Voodoo
—
Monday
Outtasite (Outta Mind)

Here’s the only video I could find of the show. Not a bad song to have A/V for. Credit to Amy Schramm.

“I Am Trying To Break Your Heart”

Absolutely unreal.

I’m going to go ahead and throw out a flawed analogy here. Seeing Radiohead for the first time reminded me of the first time I watched my friend’s HDTV. Up to that point, I’d seen plenty of standard definition televisions that I thought were awesome (you know, ones that were massive or had cool speakers). But it took about three seconds to realize that everything I’d seen up to that point fell short of the new standard.

I’ve been to great concerts before. I’ve been to terrific ones this year that I thought wouldn’t be topped (see: Spoon, Pearl Jam, My Morning Jacket). But those shows seem lacking now after witnessing the world’s best band at their creative peak.

Radiohead utilized the slickest lighting and video screens I’ve ever seen. Hands down. Between the stalactite orbs behind the stage and the gritty security cam-looking screens, I experienced many moments of sensory overload. Of course, the intricate visuals would’ve failed gloriously if the music wasn’t crafted with similar precision.

My friend pointed this out the other day, and he’s 100 percent right. We’ve probably seen 30-40 shows at Deer Creek (Verizon Wireless Music Center) and no concert has been as audibly pleasing as Radiohead. Although I love the venue, the acoustics are far from perfect. Minor imperfections are commonplace, whether the bass starts to hiss or the vocal overwhelm the mix. But every song sounded flawless during Radiohead. I always figured it was the facility, but perhaps other bands lack the complexity of calibration to overcome most shortcomings.

So everything looked and sounded gorgeous and the setlist was full of left turns. “Pyramid Song”, “Exit Music (For A Film)” and “How To Disappear Completely” served as haunting testaments to the band’s power. Other songs, like “15 Step” and “Just”, were four-minute blasts of forget-all-your-problems fun. Not only was there not a single clunker all night, but there was nary a performance that lacked at least one “Oh shit” moment (Oh shit…Thom’s playing the drums on “Bangers ‘n’ Mash”. Oh shit…What a creepy introduction to “Climbing Up the Walls”).

It was all astounding. The best concert I’ve ever attended. Not quite life-changing, but certainly perspective-altering.  

15 Step
Bodysnatchers
There There
All I Need
Pyramid Song
Nude
Weird Fishes / Arpeggi
The Gloaming
Climbing Up The Walls
Faust Arp
Videotape
Morning Bell
Idioteque
Reckoner
Everything In Its Right Place
Just
How To Disappear Completely
—
You and Whose Army
Bangers and Mash
Exit Music (For a Film)
Jigsaw Falling Into Place
Karma Police
— 
House of Cards
The National Anthem
Street Spirit

Here are several superb videos from the show. If you click the embedded player, you can watch in HQ from the YouTube site. Bottomless props to skabadelic, who I’d like to meet some day so that I can give him/her a high five.

“Climbing Up The Walls”

“Just”

“How To Disappear Completely”

“Street Spirit (Fade Out)”